


The love lasts so long

by ohemgeeitscoley



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/M, Idiots in Love, Lawyer!Ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25511122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohemgeeitscoley/pseuds/ohemgeeitscoley
Summary: Rey shakes her head, slowly moving away from Ben so she can sit up, glance at the clock, and look down at him. There's tears burning in her eyes and her stomach is in knots.She's angry.She's so, so angry.---Love you to the moon and to SaturnPassed down like folk songsThe love lasts so long
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 75
Collections: Reylo/Folklore Drabble Collection





	The love lasts so long

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Reylo/Folklore Drabble Collection. I am in love with all of the songs on Folklore and have been super inspired to write by the album. I’m super happy I got to be a part of this collaboration and I can’t wait to see what everyone else puts together.
> 
> andyouweremine is hands down one of the best betas and friends in the world. Thanks for jumping in and adding all of the commas for me. You’re the best and I love you a lot.

* * *

"You're home late," Rey mutters softly as she feels the bed shift under Ben's weight. She’s not quite awake; she couldn't open her eyes fully if she tried. 

"I know," Ben pulls her into his arms, pressing a kiss against the slope of her neck. "I tried to leave, I really did. There's just so much to do, and that promotion… Rey, if I can get that promotion it'll be so good for us—”

Rey shakes her head, slowly moving away from Ben so she can sit up, glance at the clock, and look down at him. There's tears burning in her eyes and her stomach is in knots. 

She's angry. 

She's so, so angry.

"It's almost 3 am, Ben. You haven't been home before midnight in months. It's like living with a ghost." Rey bites down on her lower lip. "I don't want to hear about your job or a promotion. It's just another reminder that you'll somehow need to be there more than you already are and I'll just be here alone waiting for you."

Ben looks hurt for a moment. But then Rey watches as he controls his face, and then his face is the calm and cool mask that he never used to put on around her.

"I'm doing this for us," Ben says. There's no emotion or passion in his voice. It's the same voice she hears in the mornings before he goes to work when he’s practicing his arguments in the bathroom. It's calm and precise and meant for a courtroom. "For our future. I know I have been gone more than usual, but I hardly think it's fair to compare me to a ghost. Once I get the promotion things are going to be different, I'll be home more. We can really start planning the wedding—"

Rey snorts, getting out of bed. "Stop, Ben, just stop," Rey begs, wiping her hands against her face to push away the tears that have started falling. "That's what you said before you got promoted to senior associate. This is what I've been hearing for the last eighteen months. And you know what? Nothing has changed. Nothing is better. And I can't keep doing this."

Ben's face cracks, and Rey can see for a moment just how scared he is by what she's saying. He scrambles to get out of the bed, reaching his hand out to touch her. Rey steps out of his reach, shaking her head as she wraps her arms around her stomach. 

"What are you saying, Rey?" Ben asks, and his voice sounds defeated. 

"I don't, I don't know," Rey admits, staring at the ground. "It's late. I'm going to go sleep in the guest room. You should go to bed. You have court in the morning."

Rey waits just a moment for Ben to stop her, to pull her back into bed and his arms like he used to do when they fought, but Ben remains still on the bed. So she walks out of the room, closes the door and goes to the other room without pause.

A part of her still believes that Ben will come get her, that she'll wake up with him beside her at least. 

But she wakes up alone at 6:45 am and Ben is already gone. 

***

Rey finds Ben sitting on his favorite bench in the park down the street from their home. It's early. The sun is just starting to paint the sky as it begins to rise. 

They still haven't talked about the fight from the week before. If anything, Ben had been coming home even later and leaving even earlier since then. Rey wasn't even positive he came home at all some nights.

She'd slept in the guest room every night since anyway.

Rey sits down next to him, holding her hand out for him to take. 

He doesn't. 

"I've thought about what you said," Ben says after a few minutes, circling his thumbs while he talks. "And I think you're right, this isn't working anymore."

For a second Rey is filled with hope, believing that Ben finally sees how toxic his job is and that he's finally, finally going to quit, but then-

"I can move out, obviously. It'll be easier for me to find a new place, and the firm has places for witnesses that we fly in that I can stay at for a while."

Rey's heart plummets as she panics. He's breaking up with her. That's not what she wants. It's not what she meant when she said she couldn't do this anymore.

She's going to be sick.

"Ben, stop," Rey stands up, pacing in front of him as she tries to process what he's saying. "I don't, I don't want this. I _love_ you. I didn't mean I couldn't do this." She moves her index finger back and forth between them. "I meant your job. Your job is ruining us."

"I can't leave my job, Rey," he sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I have nothing without my job."

"You have me."

"No, I don't." Ben shrugs, as if he's stating a common truth and not the biggest lie that he's ever said to her. "You're miserable at home. I'm never there and you're right, that's not something that's going to get better. I can't balance our relationship and my job, and it's hurting you. It has been hurting you. I already lost you, Rey. This is just me admitting it. And setting you free."

"I'm standing right here Ben," Rey points out, placing her hands on his shoulders. "You haven't lost me. I'm right here."

"For now, maybe," Ben keeps his head down and pulls away from Rey's touch. "But you're not sleeping in our room anymore, Rey. You pulled away from us too. You have been for months. I think this is what you want, you're just too scared to admit it."

"No," Rey gets out between gritted teeth. "You do not get to do this. You do not get to sit there and attempt to blame this on me. I am not the one doing this. If you do this Ben, if you walk away from us, that is on you. It is not on me."

"You're the one—" Ben starts but Rey is hardly listening, shaking her head.

"No. No, I am not," Rey interrupts him. "Snoke is doing this. And you just are in denial if you can't see that, Ben. He has you so convinced that I'm a distraction or that you are, what, unworthy of my love?"

Rey waits, but Ben says nothing. He keeps his eyes glued to the floor and that just further fuels Rey's anger. The acid in her throat burns as he remains silent.

"Well, here's a secret," Rey sighs, reaching out to grab Ben's hand. "I've been in love with you since I was seven years old, Ben Solo. And if you think I'm just going to stop loving you because you are being an idiot and because you have let some asshole get into your head and convince you that you aren't worthy of that and that I am holding you back… you're just wrong."

Tears start to escape Rey's eyes when Ben looks up at her. His eyes are full of disbelief and it kills a part of her. The idea that somehow he could even begin to doubt how she feels about him, how much she needs him, after all of these years hurts her more than anything.

"There is nothing, _nothing_ you can do, Ben, to change how I feel about you," Rey squeezes Ben's hand. "I love you today. I loved you yesterday. I'll love you tomorrow. I loved you when we were ten playing pirates in your tree house. I loved you when we were thirteen and you wore braids in your hair and you liked to first practice new braids on me. I loved you when you were haunted by the emptiness and ghosts in your home when we were sixteen. Ben, I have loved you my entire life and I'm not just going to stop."

"Rey," Ben chokes out and Rey realizes that he is crying too. "I can't give you the life you deserve and the only way I can is to keep this job that you hate—"

"Stop," Rey breathes, kneeling down until she is eye level with Ben. "I hate your job, Ben. I hate what it does to you. I hate that you have somehow convinced yourself that _leaving me_ is the best option. That you have it on your head that a world without you is somehow better for me is something I can't understand. And you are good enough. My love isn't something that you can deserve, it's something that I chose to give and you don't have any say in that anymore, Ben. I don't care about your job, or the money, or whatever material things you buy me. I care about you. All I want is you."

Ben says nothing again. Rey's leg is cramping from the way she is squatting. The morning dew is shining on the grass underneath the bench Ben is sitting on. 

"So leave me. Keep working for Snoke and being miserable and working too late and waiting for your big break when you finally get everything you want," Rey drops his hand. "But I won't be there, Ben. If that's what you want, if that's what will make you happy… a future without me. Then okay. I can live with that," Rey's voice breaks and she reaches up to wipe the tears off her cheeks. "I'll learn to live with that. But you don't have to. You can take my hand and our love can last. Ben, our love can last so long."

Rey swallows while Ben remains quiet. She waits for him to say something, to say anything. She waits, and she waits, and she waits. It feels like her heart is actually splitting in half the longer that she waits and the longer Ben remains silent.

Choking back a sob, Rey nods to herself since Ben hasn't looked up from the ground since he told her it was over. 

Over. Over. Over. Over.

Rey takes a step back, her vision blurring as new tears flood to the surface. 

"Okay," she whispers, taking another step away from him. "I love you. I hope, I hope some part of you always knows that. And I'll wait for you. I can't—" Rey takes a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady. "I can't promise that I'll wait forever? But when you decide that enough is enough and you leave Snoke, because you will, Ben. You will leave one day. If maybe then you still think of me…"

Rey's sentence trails off while she looks up at the morning sky. "Right," she whispers, mostly to herself. And she turns. She turns away from Ben and begins to walk away and each step is harder than last. 

She's halfway through the park when she hears someone run up behind her. Then she feels his hand grab onto hers as he turns her around to face him. 

"I'll quit," he says quietly and his voice is raw. His face is red and blotchy and he's still crying when he pulls her into his arms. Rey doesn't fight him, she buries her head into his chest and sobs. "On Monday, first thing. I'll quit."

Rey nods, wrapping her arms around his neck and tries to pull him closer to her.

"I have no idea how to fix this, babe," Ben whispers, pressing a faint kiss into her hair, his arms squeezing her tightly. "I don't know where to start, I'm so scared that I can't. That it's too late. That I've ruined us—"

"We'll figure it out together," Rey promises, kissing his shirt just above his heart.

"You really still believe our love can last?"

"So long," Rey answers. "Our love will last so long."

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/ohemgeeitscoley) and [Tumblr](https://ohemgeeitscoley.tumblr.com/).


End file.
